On campus, when I saw Dean Jones this morning, he said, “You still look like a freshman.” I told him I was on my way to take my comprehensive exam for my second master’s degree.
On the way to The Bagel, I saw an old drunk puking on Sixth Avenue, and on the way back to my car I saw the same drunk, recovered, jauntily lighting up a cigar in a doorway on Carmine Street.
Hello, my name is Susie McGraduate, I am applying for the low-paying entry level position that I came across while obsessively searching Indeed.com in a wine-fueled haze.
You landed an internship, great! While right now, you probably expect to have projects, research, and tasks to keep you busy all summer, this probably won’t be the case. There will be a lot of down time that some interns may spend on Twitter, Facebook, and Pinterest, but before you waste your time and your boss’s, do these ten things that are actually work related and productive (always remember to ask your boss for a job before doing something on your own!)
Accompanying your deep insecurity will be a sour-grapes attitude toward the Ivy Tower and everything it stands for. Because you feel woefully inadequate as an acedemic, you will develop a steady inner monologue about the corruption of academia.
11. Your entire success and future financial well-being is based on a goddamn proposal.
How will you define yourself?
Many people argue that it’s not necessary, but neither was college. It’s just a matter of how much money you want to potentially make and how much you hate school.
A few months before I started grad school, I met a woman at brunch with a mutual friend. She had just finished a master’s program in the same field I was going into, so I asked her if she had any advice.
Scott’s still living at the big house in Chevy Chase, dating rich JAPs who go to American (“I made it with the daughter of the doctor who cut off Betty Ford’s tit” – I don’t think I could ever top that line).