1. When you make plans to do something totally un-fun — such as help someone move or drive them to the airport — weeks in advance, and become increasingly panicked as you feel the date approach, and almost kind of…
In the last 24 hours I have fallen or tripped about two or three times in front of friends, random strangers, and even potential soul mates.
Where do I go when I’m craving mediocre food and depressing atmosphere? Well, the diner of course! While some diners have their charm, others make me feel like I’m waiting for my daily pill handouts from Nurse Ratched.
“How can you tell there is an American in the room?”
You can hear them from outside.
The police are supposed to exist to protect and serve the citizens, not to protect a taxi monopoly and serve their need for profit.
These are the things that will always be around and raring to go.
While I love the homemade cooking and the absence of sending a rent check out every month, if I have to open one more text message that asks when I’m coming home, I might go crazy.
I’m a gigolo for grandmas. Some as old as 90, none younger than 65. I’ve got $2 million in a bank from grandmas leaving me money in their wills.
Texting you that their plans fell through and if they could hang, only to spring “good, because I’m around the corner” when you say okay.
The thing about heavy drinking in your teens and twenties and acting like a complete nut job is — there’s an awareness of how young you are, and you think, “I’ll eventually stop doing this, but for now I’m just having fun.”