Being gay means accepting that, one day, you could be left behind by the ones you love. Let me explain. When you’re in your twenties, your straight girlfriends are practically your other half.
The way I see it is: I can have just as much fun for a fraction of the price, and devoid of drama, all from the comfort of my bed as opposed to the discomfort of my heels. It’s a no-brainer.
Your dick’s fate is in her hands—well, her figurative hands.
Everything costs more in Australia, AND our dollar is worth less than the American dollar.
Whatever you do, do not take her to Taco Bell. You are not 14.
1. I’ve been really busy and don’t have any time.
Sometimes it’s all really too much. Your head is full. You’re done.
The only things that I can say with full confidence that get me excited for the coming season are clothes. And, more precisely, fake fur coats.