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George Michael

When I first heard this song, I thought to myself “This is so dumb. WTF?” Then I began to involuntarily move my body back and forth and before I knew it, I was dancing! “Damn you, homosexuality!” I screamed at the ceiling. “Damn you all to hell!” You know a song is really gay when, despite its idiocy, you find yourself dancing your ass off to it.

When the boys at school would call me things like “hairy” and “gorilla” and ask to stand under my nose verandah when it rained, I’d unapologetically start resenting my Greek heritage. But as one very wise Greek once said (they were a nation of philosophers, you know) “celebrate the love of the one you’re with.” And so I came to love the Greek in me.

If I were a teenager or young adult back then, I would’ve been like, “Oh, TLC? Yeah, they totally invented the condom eye patch. Rad girls.” But I was a kid, so I was more like, “WTF? What’s that neon green thing covering that one’s eye and where do I get one? What’s a condom?!”

The classic so-cheesy-it’s-kind-of-amazing saxophone solo from George Michael’s “Careless Whisper” gets the public prank treatment in this video. A mulleted, shirtless, pleather pant-clad jokester serenaded crowds at a mall food court, an in-n-out drive thru, and even a college biology class with his sexy sax sounds, all the while pissing off security guard after security guard.

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