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Gamers

You’ll imagine you’re playing simply to purge this compulsion from your system, that once you’re finished, you can move on to other more important, productive activities in your life, perhaps outdoor activities even, but the truth is: Fallout: New Vegas is hundreds of hours long with three different expansion packs and endless replay value due to the branching storylines. There is no future for you.

“w00t,” says the office ‘cool guy’, who likes to wear his plaid fedora on the group coffee outings while he explains joyfully to everyone about all the circa 2007 bands in which he is interested.

The consensus in the gaming press seems to be that the game is a half-finished nightmare of poor gameplay and weak writing. Judging by the videos and the reviews, the game takes all that is worst about the first person shooter genre and stretches it over several hours of lackluster entertainment…

Can’t tell if XtendPlay – a company that sells ergonomic add-ons to console controllers who just so happened to plug their product in the above video – is trolling us bigtime here or if this is a real event that people enjoy because they enjoy being naked around other people while they all play video games.

Arcade games mirror life: life, which — no matter how much we want to avoid it — can only end with one inevitable result.  Or, as an eminent poet once put it: “…For I haue dyscust/ We ar but dust/ And dy we must.”

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