Bothering to weigh the disadvantages of waking up hungover against getting totally wasted before accepting that one last tequila shot. And (usually) making the responsible choice.
“I’m quitting my job to pursue my anxiety full-time.”
Find a song that strongly reflects your relationship and listen to the said song 7 times. No, 15 times.
This is too cute.
Answering “good, how are you?” when the other person only said hi. People don’t actually care about how you are when they ask, but do you know who cares even less? Someone who did not ask.
Why is Santa so jolly?
Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
If I had the choice, would I choose McDreamy or McSteamy?
You were way more emotionally invested in him than he was in you. Mostly because he didn’t know who you were. And also because you just fell in love with his Twitter.
Tatiana: Only dates white boys.
“Have a baby. It’ll save your relationship.”