Do you think our waitress is pretty?
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If Kanye West were the sorting hat, would you be put in the Real Artist house? Or just Hufflepuff?
You win, Winter. I give the f-ck up.
13. Countertop sex (kitchen): Are You Gonna Eat That?
I didn’t watch the Oscars because they celebrate creation, and I can only destroy.
You learn how important it is to say “yes!” and “…um, no.”
Why not start your own alt-folk band? It is relatively easy to do, and soon you too can be playing sad and barefoot at sold-out stadium venues.
I don’t have many rules for how I live my life, but one of them is that I refrain from sending pictures of my dick to people.
Whenever someone winks at me in a social situation, my first reaction is not ;-) or :-* but instead: “what do they want from me?”