Here are some of the stupidest, and not at all effective, ways in which I tried to shrink my waist a lil’ bit.
You won’t be able to stop laughing!
Hi! Welcome to your favorite diner. Today you’ll be joined by that obnoxiously large group of “friends” that’ll be heard by every other patron of this place.
“If I could map out the timeline of my life, I would never get my dick sucked by someone who doesn’t like Drake.”
How often you creep on your crush on social media.
You will *not* enter your credit card information for that free trial.
But you somehow have…no chapsticks?
Why is it so difficult to find a Starbucks?
Sorry this post exists, but BITCH. BETTER. HAVE —
“Few things I’d rather see less.”