1. Where is the idiot?
If they don’t know they’re being frenemized, then they open themselves up to becoming a great frenemy. Just execute timely birthday etiquette and then watch as the ice begins to cleave from their cold, dirty heart.
Church, in a way, comes with prepackaged friends, and damn good ones. Members of your small group will listen to your plights, meet you for coffee, care about you endlessly, and pray for you nightly.
They’ve seen you grow through the awkward and difficult periods. Nothing makes a difference now, so just wear what you want to wear, cut your hair the way you want to and just be you. That’s enough for us.
Ever notice that one “best” friend who seems to hang around you ONLY when she needs you?
Some friendships just die.
“It’s been 4 months since we were in the same place and dammit I’m gonna spoon ya if I want to.”
9. Inside jokes no one else will EVER be able to understand. You try and make those jokes now and your current friends might laugh along but you know they just don’t get it. You and your ex-bff basically had a secret language combined of inside jokes and random references.
1. Only talk to your “friend” when you need something from them. Definitely don’t text or call them just to see how they’re doing.
There are people in this life who are like naps, and then there are people who are the human form of that hour before your deadline.