But most importantly dear mother, I apologize for leaving you, promising that I will come back after 6 months but never living up to it.
The truth is it hurt me too. It hurt to see you standing there, seeing your heart break into a million little pieces.
At the end of the day, it’s not just about waiting for the other person to forgive you. It’s about forgiving yourself.
Even if it brought sorrow, you could imagine a life without me. You couldn’t do the same with her.
The absence of a reason has been eating at me relentlessly.
Everything was great until I fucked up.
Distancing yourself from toxic people.
Realize that your need of recognition is actually a part of your ego. It is not coming from the place of love, it’s coming from the fear of not being loved or unworthy of love. Once you realize that it’s only your ego trying to play trick on you, you can soon dissolve the thought away.
Look what you’ve done, mom. Look how far you’ve come, how far we’ve come. From the blackness came light, from despair grew hope, and although you lost some battles, we won the war.
Forgive and forget. These two words always come together when people speak about moving on. Yet I find that it’s far easier to do the latter than the former.