Killing you softly with his hair, killing you softly.
I’ve been in love with the Food Network for a long time. After college, my favorite thing to do after work was to watch Emeril cook something amazing while I sat in front of the TV eating something decidedly unamazing.
Paula Deen apologists descend on Facebook with cyber-torches, believing the celebrity chef is being demonized for “saying a bad word,” “being honest” and something, something, hip hop, something, something, Obama. They also line up to eat in her Georgia restaurants.
Ina has only three simple rules to become her absolute favorite person in the world: be a gay man, have the gayest job possible, and live in East Hampton.
I know it’s an obvious choice to have the hots for Giada, but I’m only human. Plus, who doesn’t want to have homemade Bruschetta after intercourse? Or during, for that matter?
6. You can’t pour ranch dressing on your lover to make them less bland.
What’s up man! What are you doing here? Researching? What? Did you finish school? Nice! I actually just started again. Yeah, I went to community college, but I wanted to start my own construction company.
He tried the mac n’ cheese. “What is this? It has no taste whatsoever. It has the consistency of baby food. It just tastes like somebody opened a box of mac n’ cheese and dumped it into a pot of water.”
In food fights, just as in life, the best offense is a good defense, which is why I always wear Oakleys on my neck to protect the eyes I had installed in the back of my head.
Be someone else. Create a character. Wear glasses and a wig, speak with a fake accent – whatever you want. Introduce the public to this unique personality for the day.