We feel bigger. We love bigger. We experience life bigger. Nothing is just “blah” or “meh,” everything is either great or absolutely terrible. Nothing on this planet is bland or mundane.
I was done wasting my own time and breaking my own heart. I was done apologizing for having feelings and standards for how to be treated. I was done sabotaging myself and dragging him down with me.
Good people don’t make others feel less than. They don’t control them with horrible words or extort their insecurities.
Even if we have to “fake it till we make it,” we’ve been told expressing happiness is a sure way of gaining close friends and admirers.
I’ll trace the freckles on your cheeks and the lines of the tattoos on your arms. I will memorize every part of you, even the pieces you try to hide, and I will love them anyway.
If it evokes strong emotions, we call it poetry. If it produces a supreme sense of beauty, we call it poetry. You can attempt to shrug off the label, but those are all poetry in some way.
Tonight I don’t want to be OK, I don’t want to be fine and I don’t want to tough it out or be a fighter. I want to let my emotions win tonight, I want to set them free and I’m not going to numb them. Tonight I don’t want to be numb. I want to be sensitive and fragile and too much to handle.
I know I can’t save you from this world. Rationally, I know that. No matter how hard I try, something out there is going to hurt.
It took me a long time to realize that it was okay to break down. Breaking down is part of healing and it should not be stigmatized. It is simply not NORMAL to never cry, or express emotions, or feel sad.
I gave up a long time ago trying to master a poker face. Mine prefers to be open and honest, always, much like my heart.