Because I am exhausted from melancholy nostalgia of you and I.
Falling In Love
When you’re in love, things change. You start having new desires, less-selfish desires, desires that you create and build and believe in together. And it’s even better than when you were alone, even better than you both imagined. I know this. And I know there’s nothing wrong with this, but I just don’t want it right now.
Oh my love, for before you looked up to notice me across the room, I noticed you.
A year ago, when I met you, I had no idea what I was in for.
I fear that I don’t deserve your love and affection. I fear that you’ll change your mind, and the love and happiness I experience with you will be yanked from underneath me.
No one can know about my disorder. Hold your shit together. No one can know about my disorder. Don’t trust anyone.
You were accustomed to the way your first showed you how to love, but you need to embrace being taught a completely different kind of love.
This is why I’m not sure what it’s supposed to look like or feel like because everywhere I turn I am told it is not what I think it is.
If you want to touch a guarded girl, first, start with the eyes.
I don’t want someone to fall in love with my smile, I want someone to fall in love with my tears, and the stories they hold. I want someone to understand the pain behind each tear and understand the tears behind each smile.