Thought Catalog

Epiphanies

The feeling of being me changed drastically, over only a couple of days. Life lost its normal mildly-threatening background hum. Today, in almost any given moment I actually feel prepared for the rest of my life. That used to be a rare feeling.

I thought there was someone I could love, someone that actually had thoughts and feelings and wasn’t a total sociopath. But the moment I stopped looking for it was the moment I realized that there was no grand surprise, no method to your madness.

I immediately went home and manically threw out all of the trashiest clothes in my closet. This included all of my see-through tops (i.e. 50% of my wardrobe) and things like plastic stripper heels and the $19 mini-dresses made of neon pink mock-lace that I wore almost every day this past summer.