They hate him for you because your heart can’t seem to.
You were past that with me. You no longer felt any humanity towards me. You picked up your things and you slammed the door behind you.
Rebecca had the life that I dreamed of. She had a big house, two dogs, and a really nice mom and dad. I would sit in Rebecca’s house sometimes and watch in amazement as Rebecca’s mom hugged and kissed her and combed the tangles out of her long hair.
You have to make your wellbeing a priority. Whether that means breaking up with someone you care about, loving a family member from a distance, letting go of a friend, or removing yourself from a situation that feels painful — you have every right to leave and create a safer space for yourself.
This cycle is vicious, and it is why most of us stick around in a mentally abusive relationship – and it’s because we hang on to those good moments for dear life.
Stop blaming yourself for all of this and let go. Forget. Move on.
They call you “crazy,” tell you that you’re too much of an over-thinker. You can’t seem to understand where they’re coming from with all their allegations as all you ever truly want is to be fully understood and heard.
But although you can put neat little ticks against the neat little boxes, you’re still not sure if what you went through was abuse. Because it didn’t feel like abuse. It felt like love.
You don’t have to justify to anyone the reasons you didn’t leave right away.
The most shameful part of this relationship, for me, is how I begun to crave him and the tumult he brought into my life. I was broken down to the point that I took blame for everything.