The texture is rough and reminds me of human skin, like ball sacks, and/or when I bit my cuticles off my fingers and swallow them, which I secretly really enjoy.
“You even look a little bit smaller than when you left,” she agreed. It was working.
Seeing the strongest women you know break down and ask you to help her with something very simple, like going to the bathroom, is one of the hardest things you will ever experience.
This may shock you!
As soon as I realized that what I have, in a third-world country, is something senseless, selfish and superficial, yes, but more so something praised for its self-discipline and commonalities with Mary-Kate Olsen, I stopped talking about it. I refuse to be lauded for this disorder.
6. You make room for Netflix in bed.
You don’t want your moral food standards to be trivialized by the masses, and by this point having Pinterest boards with names like The Simple Veganista or Raw Food is practically as obligatory as having a board for your future wedding. You are more unique, so make sure your eating habits are too.
“No matter how hard you try, you will never be ‘one of the guys,’ so don’t take it personally if you don’t get invited to some things.”
Picky appetizer people ruin meals (and lives).
The guacamole on my Chipotle order doesn’t cost extra.