People are crazy.
1. First things first – I’m financially responsible.
I can understand and forgive other common spoken and written mistakes in English. They can be confusing. But this simple conjugation, when you conjugate almost everything else with ease and fluency, evokes psychological conflict you don’t even know you’re experiencing.
“No matter how hard you try, you will never be ‘one of the guys,’ so don’t take it personally if you don’t get invited to some things.”
My dad accidentally said “I take you Helen Keller…” instead of “Helen” when he married my mom. He was nervous and it just popped out.
Abusing a substance destructively is like riding on a roller coaster without wearing a seat belt. We crave the danger because we want to see how close we can come to death.
“I just need like a double quarter pounder with cheese no onion and a diet coke half the ice. In my mouth. Now.”
They’re unprepared yet curious, self-conscious yet outgoing, and endlessly inebriated. I, for one, am damn excited.
It was Halloween so everyone was in costume. This one dude was dressed as jack sparrow. Cops come in and the guy, who was super hammered at this point stands right next to an open window and says “you’ll always remember this as the day you almost caught jack sparrow,” proceeds to jump out the second story window and break his leg.
Fun can’t be the answer. Because what could be more fun than finding out your dreams are as real as your life itself?