I duct-tape an icepack to my head, put on sunglasses, put in earplugs and wait. I’m just sitting here and waiting until the next time I can feel happiness.

Pickled eggs. Eggs pickled? About twenty of them float in a screw top glass jar, sat between Tuckins teacakes dressed in red and silver foil, and packets of pork scratchings, my favourite snack, 80p.