You know what will save a truly boring party? Everyone deciding to get the same amount of drunk. I swear to god, that fixes everything. If everyone in the room is like, “Okay, let’s all go that wasted place tonight” then suddenly it will become the best party ever. TRUST ME.
Last week, as part of their promotion for the Art Of Patrón contest, Patrón came over to our office, filled us up with their fabulous boozy concoctions, and let us go HAM on a bunch of their empty bottles with some art supplies.
I recommend wearing some sort of green so that you don’t get mercilessly pinched, but there’s no need to dawn your forest green pants, lime colored tank, and rainbow swirl sneakers all at once.
The point is you need someone where the relationship isn’t that deep, where the hangout is relaxed and devoid of pressure.
Get extremely involved in a cancelled television series that has all its seasons on Netflix.
In the afternoon, drink the one beer you find in the back of your fridge, then get a little naughty and go skinny dipping. In the SHOWER!
If you don’t provide the people with adequate amounts of easily-accessible toilet paper, someone (and you’ll never find out who) is going to be wiping themselves on a hand towel.
Try to immediately become friends. Hang out and get coffee and laugh and act normal. Feel weird about not kissing goodbye.
When these nights come along, you can’t fight them. I mean, technically you can stay home and sulk on the internet, but you know that you will end up hating yourself.
What are we even doing? I want to ask you. But I can’t even do that because it would break this spell we’ve woven around ourselves. Nothing is going on, because nothing is going on.