If you should ever want to see what your friends look like while experiencing pity — especially if those friends are shacked up, engaged, married, or otherwise committed to a significant other — perhaps the easiest way is to tell them you signed up for a dating website.

Then, around 5 PM, you attempt to eat a sandwich to replenish your depleted hit points and end up falling asleep in your dinner plate, covered head-to-toe in a second degree sunburn.

“That’s categories,” my sister explained, “choose a category and we all have to say something that belongs under the category you said. No repeats.”


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