The Boy didn’t text me back, and my feminist principles seemed to flow away from me the more I drank.
2. Parkour H-O-R-S-E
4. The I Can’t Wait To Get Home, Put On My Softest Pants And Do Nothing Person
Put together a playlist of nice, soothing dinner party music like Billie Holiday or John Coltrane. Jazz! Like adults listen to!
When I have headphones on and I fart thinking no one else can hear it like an idiot.
I’m going to casually mention an ex-boyfriend just so he knows that other people have loved me before.
12. Type a long angry text. You don’t actually have to send the text to anyone but it’ll feel good just to get the words out.
Use our bodies as a chalkboard. In high school, passing the time in class usually meant writing your friends notes and drawing all over their arms with Sharpies. WTF was that about? If a friend tried to draw on my arm today, I’d tell them to back up or else I’m calling the police!!!
Game nights are like hanging out at bar with your friends, except cheaper and more fun.
You know what will save a truly boring party? Everyone deciding to get the same amount of drunk. I swear to god, that fixes everything. If everyone in the room is like, “Okay, let’s all go that wasted place tonight” then suddenly it will become the best party ever. TRUST ME.