Try to immediately become friends. Hang out and get coffee and laugh and act normal. Feel weird about not kissing goodbye.
When these nights come along, you can’t fight them. I mean, technically you can stay home and sulk on the internet, but you know that you will end up hating yourself.
What are we even doing? I want to ask you. But I can’t even do that because it would break this spell we’ve woven around ourselves. Nothing is going on, because nothing is going on.
It’s winter and will be winter for two more months. You need something to look forward to in order to make it through, don’t you?
You will evoke no negative, complicated feelings in them. They will never need to “get away” from you. You will never frustrate them or stress them out.
Instead of “I love you,” most times we say, “I hate everyone but you,” with affection.
WE ARE MATURE ADULTS. Look at what we drink now!
I’ve had plenty of beers and orgasms. I need a life orgasm. Relax. Relief. Escape.
You can’t afford a shrink so reading your horoscope will have to do.
More than one person has told you that they’ve never seen you sober.