“Could someone please inform me the next time my makeup is melting off my face like a sad clown painting because these bathroom lights may have been the worst way to find out.”
America! The greatest okay-ish country that we know of!
Thursday has been the new Friday for years now, so categorizing Thursday as a weeknight is definitely debatable.
everyone was enamored of andreas. andreas thrived.
1. The Irrational Confidence Guy
Follow me on this mystical journey through all things vodka cranberry, too-tight Forever 21 dresses, and miming our way over the N-word in our favorite rap song. For it is greater than your wildest dreams.
If you should ever want to see what your friends look like while experiencing pity — especially if those friends are shacked up, engaged, married, or otherwise committed to a significant other — perhaps the easiest way is to tell them you signed up for a dating website.
8. You are broke because you spent all of your money on “going out” dinners with your girlfriends.
Then, around 5 PM, you attempt to eat a sandwich to replenish your depleted hit points and end up falling asleep in your dinner plate, covered head-to-toe in a second degree sunburn.
“I should adore to wear the orange-lined cloak: I do feel the need of something spectacular.”