Instead of “I love you,” most times we say, “I hate everyone but you,” with affection.
WE ARE MATURE ADULTS. Look at what we drink now!
I’ve had plenty of beers and orgasms. I need a life orgasm. Relax. Relief. Escape.
You can’t afford a shrink so reading your horoscope will have to do.
More than one person has told you that they’ve never seen you sober.
He felt a false sense of invincibility, followed often by an equally false sense of worthlessness. I really believe he could not control it.
Nothing gives you a craving for a drink like sitting in the emergency room lounge waiting for a friend’s admission to the detox center.
This picture, which is captioned “Barney’s after dark”, shows a topless Lindsay Lohan laying on the ground of a clothing store while attempting to wink at the camera. Stars: they’re just like us!
My roommate suspects someone is running a Fight Club out of the laundromat next door.
Can we buy each other beers and not keep track of who owes who more money? If we’re friends long enough, everything will probably even itself out. And if it doesn’t, no one will die so it’s fine.