I’m not sure how obvious this seems but do NOT get drunk and then attempt to give yourself an at-home bikini wax.
The heavy breathing might be the worst part.
The drunk craves profound numbness and shallow enlightenment: he has no history, no future, no God, and no partners, but he has an order of jalapeno poppers on the way, there’s a pretty girl at the other table, and an old favorite he can’t quite remember on the jukebox. His priorities are, shall we say, not in order.
My grandmother is a seventy five year old woman, recently widowed within the past year or so. After nearly fifty years of co-habitation and a loving life with her husband, my grandfather, she suddenly feels as if her life has crumbled.
What’s your idea of fun and games?
Note: Mexican food is never a good drinking base. Come on, people.
It is not normal for man my age, a party school graduate who has since forgotten he ever graduated at all, to forego drinking for an entire year just to prove something to himself. Especially when I am not yet sure what it is I am attempting to prove.
You probably think I feel like I’m too good for you, that I’ve grow out of our relationship, and maybe you’re right.
You’ve finally realized that all your thoughts are not in fact epiphanies.