Your body is a combo of bruised, bleeding, and semi-dying as you scroll through yesterday’s Snapstories trying to piece together your night.
Puking, as much as you miss it, is few and far between these days. You left the glamour of hangovers behind with your 20s, bless.
It really is not that difficult to get ridiculously plastered a couple times a week or whatever and still be a productive member of society.
I think that I will get myself through this. I mean, I always do, don’t I? I’ll find it within myself to stop using alcohol as an outlet for my agony.
Once you mention you’re not drinking alcohol, people automatically withdrawal from you.
Step six: Go full cray on your Facebook timeline
Someday she’ll probably burp and it will shake the foundation of your home. Hazard of the hops.
If listening you’re your drunk friends wasn’t bad enough, now imagine sitting through the four-hour family shindig. Completely. Sober.
Romance is like religion in that it’s completely illogical, but that doesn’t stop people from giving their lives over to it.
The Dude Who Is Way Too Old To Be There: He’s like next level Tyga, busy hitting on all the barely legal women within sight.