There is no shame in being that friend that wants to set up the next happy hour while currently at a happy hour.
Take a double shot when you successfully have a nonverbal shit-talking conversation about someone right in front of them.
Rum drinkers make the most low-maintenance girlfriends.
No one seems to care what a drunk has to say quite like they used to.
CHAMPAGNE: You wake up with fully done make-up when The Bachelor “surprises” everyone in the early morning.
Break-ups make people do a lot of crazy things. Some people put each and every ounce of the unrequited love they gave to a punching bag or a treadmill and lose weight.
He comes out from the other room completely naked and gyrating, saying “You got more than you bargained for!”
This is a list I’ve compiled of the sh*t people say to bartenders and what bartenders want to secretly say back.
Because when I drank it, I got far too angry.
At you. At the world.
Scorpio: When you’re drunk, you become self-destructive. Even though you know better, you’ll pick up your phone and text your ex about how much you miss them–or about what a complete and utter ass they are.