In 1964, when they first hit the streets to little fanfare, Doritos were seen as little more than a nuisance, a relatively benign way for people to get a harmless hit of flavor.

1. I have an exponentially large crush on you and these butterflies will keep sucker punching me in the gut unless I do this.

These chips are handcrafted just like your grandfather and his grandfather used to make them, back in the old country where men took the time to learn the art of cheese-dusting from the age of four.

He mentally notes how the woman sitting down would be a little hotter if she was a little thinner and how the old woman on the right should fold up her walker so it doesn’t take up as much space in the aisle. He notes these things but says nothing. Here is not his place.


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