Watching someone or something disintegrate before your eyes is like flowing in a current downstream with absolutely nothing to grab on to. You have no choice but to accept your lack of control and welcome fluidity as a new form of being.
“I found the dick pics my (now) son-in-law sent my daughter. She had backed up her computer to an external hard drive and didn’t realize they went, too.”
Death has a way of creating very strong bonds that keep people connected forever.
I thought it might be easier if he died. Because then I wouldn’t think of him constantly every time I left. If he were no longer in this physically suffering body, his spirit could stand atop mountains with me, looking back on the trail we conquered together.
I heard something again; a deep and guttural moan. I stopped and so did my heart. My face felt frozen as if the blood just stopped moving.
No suspects, no new evidence, nothing to bring this case to a close.
I wish you could answer all of this, but I guess I’ll find out one day.
I woke the following morning to a new message on my feed; “Body found in search for missing teenager.”
It doesn’t make you a failure to miss someone. And it doesn’t make the life you have without them any less bountiful, impressive or meaningful.
I’ll never leave you, I promise.