We fought as hard as we loved. But love we did. It took five-years for us to figure out it wasn’t working anymore. Neither of us have any interest in converting, and this here was the biggest issue in our relationship. Religion.
Time isn’t going to make all the hurt go away. And it’s not going to make your anxiety go away. But you will learn how to deal with it, without him.
I used to think that maybe they were cruel, those four words he spoke aloud on that last day. “I want to die.” But they weren’t cruel, they were confession. They were a hand reached out, one waiting to be grasped with loving firmness.
Maybe it reminds us that bad things happen so better things can take place.
The thought of loving someone so much, of being so captivated by someone, only to have them ripped from you will take it’s toll on your heart and mind.
There’s no reason why I want to die. It just seems like I’m eventually going to die anyway, why bother with putting it off? Why spend all this effort moving from one obligation to the next?
Waking up from these dreams is one of the cruelest parts of losing your mother.
Don’t be too busy today. For somebody you love, wake up tired tomorrow. Have an extra cup of coffee in the morning with a smile because you filled your soul with a new memory and extra love. Because you never know when you’re going to have to wake up without them. Waking up tired is always, always better than waking up empty.
I also know this won’t be the last time I encounter this reality. Maybe that’s the source of sadness. It could be a combination of everything. The human life is so fragile.
I sent them a big Puppy Package, welcoming Rai into the home. There were treats, toys, bones, and an instruction manual that I had created myself. My instruction manual did not include a chapter on what to do when she dies.