I’m not on the hunt for a husband or even a boyfriend. I just want someone to be get lost with for a while.
Pursue everything your heart desires.
Go to sleep with your windows open. I promise you, it’ll be the best sleep of your life.
Could you use your car manual to spank him? Could you use your ice scraper to tickle him? Might as well find out.
Isn’t the dream to find someone that hates the same things as you? Someone who will join in when you make fun of the people you can’t fucking stand?
I was going to send you nudes last night, but then I realized I didn’t have your number.
Take a picture of your dildo and caption it, “I’ll be thinking of you the entire time.”
Here’s 5 ways to get a guy off his butt and ready to kiss you.
I’m just saying, this is why I never go after beautiful men.
I’m fine. Even when I cry, even when I miss you, even when I’m alone, even when I’m scared, even when I see you looking happy in pictures — even when I know you don’t miss me, I’m still fine.