Do I do a rousing rendition of Creed hits at karaoke? Yes, yes I do. I love getting raspy and belting out potentially Christian, post-grunge rock ballads. I imagine myself rocking a strange khaki jacket in the middle of an abandoned field and hearing thousands of fans also singing, “Welcome to this place.”

95. Chevelle – Point #1 – Produced by Steve Albini, Point #1 was released on Steve Taylor’s Squint, home to other vaguely Christian bands like Sixpence None the Richer and L.A. Symphony. Chevelle was the hard rock ratio and they did it very pretty well, peaking with their next album, Wonder What’s Next.

There is one element that all of my failed relationships share. Through all the many variations of womanhood that I have been familiar with, but a single thread carries through all of these dalliances. They involved a heavy amount of physical intimacy.