I thought endings for us were always just temporary spots. Because we were permanence in every way. That nothing has ever felt like seeing you get out of the elevator at that hotel, or across a crowded airport.

He kisses the top of my head and I want to ask him to not go. I think of abandoning everything I’ve created and just going with him. He will return to the opposite side of the world and I can’t go with him. I know it. He knows it. We all know it.

nothing about us was meant to last
we were illegal firecrackers
and $5 sunglasses
purchased at tiny corner stores
impermanence stuck like pieces of corn in our teeth
we were always going to fall out

I don’t know why I keep thinking pain means romance. Or sacrifice means “I want you” but maybe I’ll start going back to therapy tomorrow. Or next week. It’s just so easy when we make couches here. We’re just so good at being bad for each other.