Bruce: The guy who had a love affair with protein powder.
Michael: Made a big statement by going from Mike to Michael when he came out. Incidentally, so did every other Mike.
I believe, sir, that I am in awe of you. Because despite the disapproving stares of your fellow man, despite the long-standing customs of civilization, despite the implicit rules of basic decency, you said, “Fuck it – I need a clip.” And so you clipped. That is a level of consummate DGAF-ery I have to respect.
Spencer: Went surfing once, puts the surfer guy emoji next to his name when he puts his name into your phone.
Here’s your guide to domestic bliss.
Sunday Funday, better than a Monday.
Massachusetts: You have zero respect for the letter “r.”
Here’s the thing: her humor is her survival.
“Little Frodo, very small guy, tries to destroy a ring, it takes forever, total loser. I’d do it quicker, believe me #TrumpExplainsMoviePlots”
“I’d like to be one of the unhealthy things you put inside your body this weekend.”