Who knew McNuggets could be such a turn-on?
When ur bestie invites u out with her but she brings her OTHER bestie w/ y’all, so ur like this the whole night.
“I was the maid of honor and as I gave my toast I had a massive brain fart and called the groom by the bride’s ex’s name…”
“Carrots don’t have eyes, which is why you rarely see them wearing sunglasses.”
Why spend your hard earned money on a gift when you can make dad laugh instead?
“When all of your daughters are hot and you realize you can’t fight everybody…”
Something that immature little boys do to girls when they’re too cowardly to say they’re no longer interested.
This personal dissonance seems vague at first. If a comedian is onstage in front of you for two reasons, and one is to make you laugh, then what’s the other?
“No offense, but…”
Thanks for all the practice faking orgasms!