I don’t know if this is a typical night in a Jamaican daggering dance club, but deep down in my heart I want it to be true.
7:00PM: You’re standing in the middle of your room, staring at your closet, wondering WHAT THE HELL YOU ARE GOING TO WEAR.
I just want to be 79 years old so I can watch Boy Meets World re-runs in peace and not feel guilty for wasting my perky breasts and small wrists on a gallon of ice cream and Ben Savage in all his 11-year-old prime. I AM A SQUARE.
8. A swelling sense of lame-ness.
4. We have a heightened sense for a fake or insincere personality.
For those of you who are sick of the same three songs that seem to play at every club, party, or casual Flip Cup session you attend, here is a playlist of 14 fresh club and EDM tracks that will pump you up and let you work on that fist pump for this weekend.
Let me state for the record that I absolutely hate going to the club. I’d rather do my taxes than go to the club.
The Hot Guy Who Leaves as You Go In.
Follow me on this mystical journey through all things vodka cranberry, too-tight Forever 21 dresses, and miming our way over the N-word in our favorite rap song. For it is greater than your wildest dreams.
I love watching people dance, even just rocking back and forth to a song we’ll never hear in their headphones on the subway.