8. When you’re really bored you can act out scenes from Friends reruns between Marcel the monkey and Ross or Joey.
5. Demand to be treated like a princess.
Welcome to your daily “aw.”
Take down all the cat videos. The cuteness contest has a winner!
You read quotes like “There is somebody for everybody; your somebody may just be five cats” and you think to yourself, ‘yup, that’s me!’
I haven’t been able to look at my pussy for days. It’s reminding me of…him. I couldn’t wear mittens when Troy took me to the indoor ice-skating rink, cuz, well, they remind me of what he did to me.
The real question is why do fat cats think it’s okay to walk on you like they weigh nothing? Like hello you are crushing my lungs.
Working on a deadline? Trying to pen the next great American novel? Ha! Think again.
“My cocker spaniel has one particular snore that sounds like a little demon child laughing.”
I’ve learned a lot about myself, life, and the true meaning of unconditional love in the past seventy-two hours.