I spent a few years after college living in a variety of locales in the Detroit area and working shit jobs as I passed off my mid-twenties waiting to see what use the world might have for me.
I can’t help but notice all of the benefits that pregnant women reap and that I’ll never get to experience.
I know this list is getting a little heavy on the “things with melted cheese on top of them” side, but frankly, that is the best genre of food we have.
“If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe.” The University of Minnesota physics department decided that they preferred to make a cake.
this is my video to help you remember: you are powerful when you are excited.
First of all, why in the world would anyone even step foot within 10 miles of a KFC when Popeye’s exists? Popeye’s is the Beyoncé to KFC’s Katy Perry — there is just no comparison, and one just looks sad when mentioned in the same sentence.
What a terrible scenario to imagine if someone — not me, of course, but someone — siphoned off a portion of blood and improperly transported it, leading to coagulated garbage blood, unfit for anyone’s mysterious, undoubtedly sinister purpose.
We all know pumpkin pie is delicious — we have spent the better part of the 21st century so far trying to cram that flavor combination into as many products as we possibly can.
If you don’t like Bob Marley & The Wailers, or this song, then I don’t like you. That is all.
Am I supposed to smile while everybody sings? Or do I modestly laugh? Do I make eye contact with people individually, or glance by all of them? Would it be corny if I did that little orchestra conductor thing? Yeah, that’d be corny.