Dear Chipotle, I fucking love you.
5) Any text I send after three or more drinks.
The second you take a bite out of any folded tortilla, be prepared for shambolic spillage of whatever that wannabe sandwich contains.
I’m so hungry now.
Your favorite unit of measurement isn’t small, medium, or large; it’s Bellgrande.
If I had my way, I would NEVER call my gynecologist back.
If you have a crazy startup idea, good for you. But whatever it is, it’s probably not as good as The Burrito Box .
You don’t believe in moderation at all, and have dreams of Xzibit putting food in your food so you could eat while you eat.
Let me break it down for the disillusioned women who have trained themselves to accept flavorless cardboard as food, the trendiest diet book as gospel, and the latest exercise fad as her one-way ticket to happiness.
I really cannot deal with another “insider’s guide to Atlanta” that tells you to go to the Varsity. Sit down, amateurs. Whoever wrote that sh*t probably lives in Cobb County. Here’s a small sampling of what is truly up.