Our months of drawn out kisses and sweaty hands clasped together. Our hot three hour long bus rides to New York and another one to Philly. Our Julys in the rain. Our Augusts of heartbreak and tears that grew seeds into our hearts. Our eager hello’s and that gutting final goodbye. The summer months were always ours, even when we ended.
Only when she left you, did you give a damn. Only when she said goodbye, did you open up your heart again. Only when she slammed the door, was when you grew up and changed. Only when she gave up you, did you want her back
You begin to think, what is it about that girl that he wants? What is it she has that I don’t? Some things, like the emotions you feel for another person, are sometimes inexplicable and incontrollable, and you have to accept that as a fact of life.
Father, please be with this boy I loved. Show him how powerful you are, how big your heart is. Show him the love you want for him—a love that is pure, passion, and honorable to both him, and you.
I sit here with the taste of you
Still on my lips
The smell of you
Still fresh in my nostrils
Is there some plan
That is beyond me
Or is this just a reminder
To not take things for granted?
Your whisper is like a ghost in my mind
The subtle inflection haunting my brain
Calling to me in the night
Each and every word dragging me back
To the place I’m trying to escape
He will remember that he was the one who ended it. That he was the one who tore it all apart. That he was the one who cared less. Who loved less. Who thought that that he needed to spread his wings some more. And he will remember the look on your face when he said, ‘it’s over’.
You pushed her away by not being the man she used to know. By not being the man she used to love and adore and give her heart to. You pushed her away, by not being good enough. By not being a better man.
You miss being carefree. Not giving a damn. When you didn’t know what sadness felt like. You miss not knowing what pain was. What loss was. What longing was.