And I cried, because it felt final. I always believed that we would eventually find our way back to each other. But this time, this last time — it felt final.
There are small occurrences that remind me my heart has not completely died. It has shut off for a while, but it is just waiting for the right time to start up again.
You put yourself out there. You risked your emotions, you became vulnerable, and by investing your happiness in a completely different person outside yourself, you took a huge leap of faith. Sometimes we fall from those.
It will hurt in a completely and utterly different way than it hurt the first time, but it’s going to be pain all the same. It is a subtler pain. A refined pain.
I know I shouldn’t care anymore. And maybe I don’t. Not the same way as before, anyway. I told myself that a hundred times. It’s just that the saddest part about our relationship is that it was never meant to be.
They taught us to see that one of the greatest gifts of being alive is the ability to give, receive and even lose love.
It’s easier to fall back into the same comforting patterns than to go through the heartbreak of not being in the relationship anymore.
I feel so sorry for you. But I blame myself for what happened to you as well. You were so easy to love, you know.
It hurts to realize that not only are you not needed by someone who you so desperately need, but that you’re not wanted, either. And all we ever really want is to be wanted.
Teach yourself to not settle for less, to understand what should be expected in a trusting relationship, and to know what you each deserve in love.