That was it. No more communication. I have heard nothing from him since September last year. No checking to see if I’m okay, no late night drunken awkward texts, not even an “I miss you”.
You weren’t the one for her. The right one. The right person. But that doesn’t mean you won’t be the right person for someone else.
She’s better off without you because you took too much of her when you were with her. You took too many pieces. You took too much. And you never, ever gave anything back.
Don’t meet my family. Don’t meet my relatives. Don’t hold my hand in public and kiss me on the tip of my nose. Don’t give me bear hugs. Don’t call me yours. If you don’t really want me.
Maybe she thought she needed you at first. That she needed a body to hold at night when it got too dark to see. Or maybe she thought that she needed the reassurance of a hand or a hug. But I can guarantee you, she never needed it. She never needed you.
He left for a reason. He said goodbye for a reason. He didn’t just walk away without thinking about it. And maybe he’s an idiot for it. Maybe he made the biggest mistake of his life leaving you. But it’s done. It’s final.
You, in all your innocent, uninhibited love, have just thrust the object of your blind devotion into the blazing furnace of self-doubt. Don’t be surprised when they get…well, squirmier. This was your doing and you should take responsibility for it.
Don’t fool your heart. Don’t give it anymore false hope or faith. It will only make the wounds grow bigger. It will only make the bruises go deeper. And it will only make the pain more powerful.
Our sense of belonging has been first to ourselves and that is what we have loved most about each other.
If you were really in love with her? She’d be in your arms right now. You wouldn’t have to explain anything. You wouldn’t have to apologize or try to get her back. You wouldn’t have to have something to miss. You wouldn’t have to have someone to want.