Thought Catalog

Bon Jovi

It is possible that I will become utterly and fabulously super famous in the future and you, being the kind of person who feels compelled to explore such places, will visit my childhood home.

My mailman is a loser. There is no other word to describe a person who is not only terrible at his job, but has no desire to do anything about it. He is lazy and impolite and quite brazen about it. He lies frequently and shows no remorse. If my mailman were my boyfriend, my friends would be afraid for my life.

Being straight is “gay.” It’s really “gay.” From role models to clothing selection, it’s all one ambiguous mish-mash of “what extreme do you want to market yourself as?” When you head in to work, are you the guy who rocks khakis and tucks in his shirt? Or do you take the “stylish straight male” role and make a nice pair of jeans and fitted dress shirt your go-to?