Any “best of” list can tell you what restaurants you need to indulge in while you’re in New York, but I’ve got some tips for the truly gluttonous: the ones who want to eat the part of New York that doesn’t come with a side of locally sourced kale.

The tip I found most upsetting was “Try placing a donut on your man’s shaft. Then go down on him while slowly devouring the tasty treat.” You see, Cosmo, I have Celiac’s Disease, which means I can’t eat wheat flour, the #1 ingredient in donuts. It’s tragic to think of all the ways this negatively impacts my sex life.


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