Real men tell us how they really feel about a tradition that’s rarely questioned.
You can’t take a baby out shopping or out for an overpriced craft cocktail. Department stores don’t have daycare centers and wine bars don’t have highchairs (thank God).
If someone asks you if you’d like to hold their child, you just say “I’m okay, thanks,” as if they were offering you a beer.
How certain can I be that they’ll put the right embryo back in me?
You’re losing more and more sleep because not only do you still have school, you have work and your baby to take care of. You’re probably battling with thoughts such as, “Will I be a good mother/father?” or, “Am I going to be like those messed up parents I see on television?” You probably never even wanted this to happen; maybe you wanted to have kids but certainly not at your age.
Although I appreciate the enthusiasm from strangers and the concern from family members, it becomes exhausting after nine months of the same conversation time and time again. Especially when what I really want to say is what I don’t.
Being childfree involves a second person so rarely discussed: your partner. And it doesn’t matter if he sits on the bathroom floor with you for an hour, sharing your sobs, calling you beautiful and amazing. He wants a child. And you don’t.
If you think about it, it’s kind of selfish to make your own baby so it has your eyes when there are thousands of orphans and foster children out there for you to raise. But that’s just me.
If you have ever opened a biology textbook, you would see that the process of making a new human begins when the sperm interacts with the ovum.
OMG I NEED THEM NOW.