“I used to jack off while I was on long drives, it would keep me awake and I would play the porn through my car speakers. It was kind of fucked up, but whatever. Except the last time I did it I got pulled over because a cop saw what I was doing. I got a ticket and he was repulsed.”
“I talk to guys because I’m not sure if I’m interested in them or not. They might have a stellar personality, but I’m just not sure if they’re for me or not on the sexual/dating level. So I try to keep my options open and stay kind.”
When you accidentally open your front camera.
My reality changes, but if I do my daily practice, I increase the chances that the positive side of my reality goes up.
The last night we were on the ship we waited until it was really late and started hooking up on the very front of the cruise ship. We were 69ing when a group of people we didn’t hear came walking right up to us. It was absolutely humiliating.
“Why didn’t we have sex last night?”
“That my sister was the pretty one but that I was the more approachable one.”
Silence is your own personal hell, and you would rather ask someone if they like cheese, or tell them about your favourite stray cat, than sit in it for more than thirty seconds.
“Dad danced naked and projectile-vomited at a Christmas party.”
I have the best sound system in lower Manhattan.