“I was so in love I almost died of a heart attack when my lips kissed theirs.”
Stole a bottle of champagne and hung out with fishermen on their boat to escape yet more socializing at a corporate team-building weekend.
“‘That mole on your back doesn’t look good,’ then he proceeded to check the rest of my back for signs of skin cancer. While he was still in me.”
“My girlfriend of 5 1/2 years cheated on me while I was asleep in the next room (in our bed). I found out the next day. I remember her coming in to kiss me at some point in the night. I never had the stones to ask whether it was before or after.”
Completely ignore them.