In my early twenties / gossip made me stressed / but lately I don’t give a shit / ’cause I’m the fucking best
Eaten Alive: The Truth About Online Dating for Women breezily exposes the shortcomings of online dating for women.
He’s been kicked off Facebook like a million times.
You can either bemoan the fact that you attract weirdoes, or you can try to make the weirdo cycle shorter and stop attracting them altogether. Here is what I learned from this failed, embarrassing, hapless relationship.
Has anything good ever happened on Tinder?
Is this satire?
“I’ll give him a playful shove, maybe touch his arm, and then overanalyze everything and hate myself for the rest of the evening.”
That dude who dated the Theta president twelve years ago? Yeah, OFF LIMITS.
“I pace and stress about the date for hours and hours, compose and delete countless texts bailing on the date, and then just go for it. I just have to rip the bandaid off quickly. I want to die for the majority of the evening, but at the end of the day, I’m almost always glad I went out.”
“I step in to give her a hug, and kick her big toenail clean off. Completely off.”