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None of you can have missed the fact that this Grade-A Bitch is everywhere, but what you may not know is that she’s actually nowhere—because she doesn’t really exist.

If a girl doesn’t have time to date you because she’s fighting for her survival in an elaborate reality TV show in the distant future, then a guy just needs to understand. Modern women are ambitious. They have their own lives and their own desires. Katniss sets the expectations in her love triangle.

Yes, this is inspired by the SAT analogies segment from Late Night with Conan O’Brien. Yes, I’m aware that the SATs no longer have analogies. Yes, I remember the episode of Full House where D.J. takes the SATs. Yes, according to Saved by the Bell, Zack Morris got a 1502 on his SATs. No, that is not possible.

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