Place your mirrors on doors and in other places. Mirrors make us think that we’re looking farther than we actually are.
You’ve worked that crappy job for a while now, you’ve paid your dues, and you finally have enough money to take the first step toward adulthood. But before you make the big move, you should know a few things.
I didn’t want to believe this shit, but the ceiling shuddered again and I had become a little bit more open to crazy ideas at this point.
It’s been six years, but I feel like it just happened yesterday.
Tinder boys are bad. This is self-explanatory, but it needs to be said. Even the good ones are usually bad news in some way or another. Steer clear.
It’s ok to check the mail once every two weeks. Who is mailing you things anyway? Sorry, Grandma.
A bath product that is deemed “too fancy” to use. It will be stored in the cupboard or displayed somewhere until the end of time.
Fine, flossy pubic hairs that, when found on a shower wall, cause one to think, “Our existence is evanescent and soft. We are flickering lights on a dock at night.”
12. Dating and having a normal sex life actually become possible.
You have to choose between spending the money and hiring movers or guilting your friends into helping you in exchange for a Papa John’s single topping pizza.