Thought Catalog

anxious

My anxiety has forced me to be self-aware and develop an incredible knack for being endlessly introspective. I could probably tell you why I’m feeling the way I’m feeling and then extrapolate that feeling out to more feelings. And that in itself is a talent. I’ve even been able to simplify it as skills on my resume: analytical and self-aware.

I might hyperventilate beforehand, I might cry myself to sleep the night before, but that doesn’t matter. All that matters is that there are going to be days when I have the energy to push myself to do something terrifying. There are going to be days when I silence my anxiety for long enough to really live.

I don’t like to go anywhere on my own. If I’m invited to a party, I want to drive there with a friend, so I don’t have to walk through the door alone. I want someone that I can follow around like a puppy dog, someone that will make me feel a little more comfortable.

I stay up at night, because my heart is beating too fast. My lungs are sucking in air too fast. My thoughts are racing too fast, making me terrified of what the future will bring.