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Alabama

Oh man, white girls, you crossed the line this time. I think some discretion should have been used here, because you may have just made yourselves into the next Rebecca Black, and it’s possible you’ve all just lost any position in your little fraternity/ sorority hierarchy your house may have had previous to the unveiling of this extremely embarrassing video.

Among the many lessons I was taught by those wing women so long ago, the one I learned that day at the store I consider the most important. I realized not only did I want to be around people who lived their lives in exclamation points but I also wanted to live my own life the same way. Months later that lesson would play a key role, arguably, in helping me to find someone who, thankfully, was generous enough to relieve my virginity.

Get strong from hauling everything you own up and down the subway stairs on a regular basis. Apply for jobs, look at apartment listings, and charge your phone at ugly internet cafes. Stay in random restaurants and bars for hours when it rains because you have nowhere else to go. Feel intensely grateful every time somebody offers you a towel to shower with.

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