addicts never feel quite right in their own bodies. They struggle with feeling like two people. They feel feelings very deeply. They care a lot about what others think of them. They’re codependent. The drugs are a SYMPTOM of the disease of addiction, and for a while, help become a temporary escape from the disease. The drugs are NEVER the cause. It doesn’t work like that.
Cancel the date you’re supposed to have a few days from now. Make up an excuse (you’re good at it). Cancel all dates so you never have to start. Joke about being alone forever and realize it’s your own doing.
See, the talk always seems to be about you. The focus is always on you. How are you doing? How are you feeling? Well, I have myself to ask how I am doing, how I’m feeling.
It was in the first days I began to live without another that I began to understand the demoralizing insatiable beast that is addiction.
“It’s strange – the one who tucked you into bed at night when you were seven years old can so quickly turn into the one you pull back from when they ask you for a hug at fifteen years old.”
Why did you love me if you had even the slightest thought that you could stop?
Last year, 47,055 people died from drug overdoses. That’s 150% more deaths than the number of people killed in car crashes. And opioids are involved in over 60% of the total number of deaths associated with drug overdoses. Simply put, that is a staggering majority that needs to change.
He was just like my cigarettes, – quick and never enough. And addictions are tricky to deal.
Hank Lihn is the executive producer of Here one minute, a film about the tragedies resulting from prescription medication misuse. The film is available here and TC readers are invited to its premier on June 6th.
I still remember telling my mother, the woman who thought her little girl was an angel, that I was a drug addict and needed to go to inpatient treatment. “I don’t want to get high anymore,” I told her, “but I can’t stop.”