“I don’t need a birthday, ’cause I buy myself all the presents I need. And because of my drinking, they’re often a surprise.”
“Seeing @RealTracyMorgan, Liz Lemon, Jack Donaghy, Jenna, & Kenneth together again was amazing. Hope T got all of them pregnant. #SNL #30Rock.” –Kay Cannon
“Did I even sleep? How can I be this exhausted after…sleeping? WHAT WAS THE POINT OF EVEN GOING TO BED?!”
I’m sorry to say this, but although people have been lead to believe that every person, in some way or form, enjoys the act of showing affection, that idea is incorrect.
You set aside at least an hour each day to stare at yourself in the mirror. Usually while crying. You’re a beautiful crier.
“Sex probably wasn’t as great as I remembered it.”
There is no such thing as trying to act ladylike or gentlemanly in front of each other.
“I support women. I’m like a human BRA.”
On TV, there are some guys who would not be able to function in modern society
6. During a lonely night in, you order two pizzas for one.