This is what happens when the girl who hoped for more is broken, when she feels stupid for choosing to love someone who never wanted to love her back.
Who knows if he meant what he said when he was drunk, who knows if that sex meant anything, who even knows if he’s talking to someone else?? Maybe you’re not the only girl he’s ‘talking to’ but you can’t ask because once again that makes you look fucking CRAZY.
Saying yes to too many things, and then having to pick and choose when you realize you’ve taken on too much.
You surround yourself with only positive influences.
I’m only sorry for the fact that you won’t find someone who will love you like I would have.
You made yourself into a hopeless trap instead of a safe place to come home to.
You deserve the moon and the stars. You deserved to be loved, fully. You deserve to show off the guy you are dating and he sure as hell better be proud to show you off too.
No one tells you that it is only true consent if you’re doing it for your own enjoyment, not just because you want someone else to be happy, or you want them to love you, or because you think it’s expected.
Maybe all I need right now is me because I need to work on the relationship with myself. To fix the years I tormented myself. To mend the broken pieces. To reshape myself. To redeem myself.
So besides all the downsides of being gay, it is extremely liberating to finally be able to be true to myself and let myself love whomever I want to love.