I’m done feeling like a burden. Feeling like I am less of a fantastic human being because of a chemical imbalance in my brain. And if you can’t handle my imperfect life, if you can’t handle that I have a mental illness, you can walk away. You can get out of my life.
You find yourself having FOMO constantly. Even though you say no a lot and you don’t get out much, when you see yourfriends enjoying time together, you are filled up with jealousy and envy.
When you’re a friend with someone who has anxiety, you’re friends with someone who will never neglect you. They aren’t going to ditch you for other people, or the ‘cool’ crowd. They know your loyalty and wouldn’t ever dream of giving up a wonderful friendship. You make them feel more comfortable and more at ease. Why would they ever give that up?
You’ll begin to understand that anxiety cannot be healed. You’ll begin to understand that anxiety is not like a broken leg, or a sprained wrist. And you’ll begin to understand that anxiety is a chemical imbalance, not a cry for attention.
Anxiety is feeling completely at fault when prioritizing yourself. It is the undeserving feeling of guilt you get when you treat yourself.
It feels like the floor underneath you is dropping. In college when this first happened to me, I thought the ground beneath was literally moving, or that maybe an earthquake was occurring.
Anxiety tells you that even your best friends hate you. It plagues your minds with paranoid thoughts that everyone is just pretending and they only hang out with you because they feel sorry for you.
You hold onto friendships and past relationships even if they don’t fulfill you. You hold onto keeping in touch with all your exe’s and ex besties because you don’t want to disapoint them or cause them pain. In reality, you’re making yourself feel worse and are actually causing yourself more and more anguish.
Anxiety doesn’t adapt well to change or to life altering moments. Anxiety doesn’t care if you are excited about moving to another state, or if you finally got an amazing promotion. Anxiety doesn’t care about your accomplishments, because all it does is focus on your failures.
Please do not let anxiety become your world. Please do not let anxiety consume you. Because even though you feel like this right now, it’s just a tiny moment. A minute or a day out of millions more that you will get to experience. So even though it’s hard to breathe and to think right now, you won’t always feel this way.