October 3, 2016

Here’s What Kind Of Girlfriend You Are, Based On Your Favorite Sex Position

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The Lazy Dog

He takes her from behind, except that she’s reclining on her stomach instead of being on all fours.

You’re the type who aims to please, but you’re not going to shelve your needs altogether in tending to your boyfriend’s. You’re clever and resourceful enough to figure out how to keep your significant other happy while getting what you want out of the relationship too.

Reverse Cowgirl

He lies on his back and she mounts him backwards and bounces on top, facing away throughout.

A wild child at heart, you’re serious about getting your kicks as a couple. You’ll encourage your significant other to call in sick on a whim so you can play hooky together, or surprise him with last minute tickets to a concert on a work night. Nothing will stop you from embracing life to the fullest and your boyfriend cherishes that about you.

The Loveseat

He sits on the edge of the bed and she sits right on top of him, facing away.

You’re an individual at heart. You don’t need validation through eye contact or words of affirmation from a man to feel good about yourself, or to know that you’re adding value to a relationship. You’re a go-getter and a woman with a keen sense of the bigger picture.

The Face Off

He sits on the edge of the bed, table, or counter and she straddles his waist, facing him, wrapping her arms around his chest.

You might be a little possessive, but only because you’re madly in love with your boyfriend. You don’t fall for guys blindly. You love with intent, and once you find someone special enough to commit to, you’ll do whatever it takes to make sure he’s yours for good. If that means cyberstalking every single one of his exes as you sip your morning coffee, so be it.

The Cat

Missionary position but misaligned, so that his shoulders are at her chest instead of being chest-to-chest and you smoosh your bodies together as closely as possible.

Others might mistake you for traditional, but you’re secretly not the least bit conventional. You like to put your own twist on everything—from the meals you cook to the clothes you wear and the super weird but meaningful pet names you assign your significant other. You pride yourself on tweaking the mundane ever so slightly to create a whole new experience. You’re imaginative between the sheets, even if you like doing it in relatively straightforward positions. You’re definitely not one of those women who needs to chase “exotic” activities like naked yoga or vagina facials to enjoy herself thoroughly.

The Wheelbarrow

He sits upright at the edge of the bed and she lies on top, facing away, with her legs straddling his waist in reverse and her hands propping her up on the floor.

You’re every man’s dream girl. There’s a long line of suitors desperate to date you at all times because you exude that easygoing vibe most girls aspire to but which can’t be manufactured. Since your options abound, you obviously don’t accept just any offer. You tend to save yourself for the highest quality guys deserving of your sophisticated je ne sais quoi energy. Though you’re way too socially adept to be boastful, you have your very own subtle but impactful way of reminding your partner that it’s a privilege to date you, and that if he dares to misbehave, you will happily (and easily) replace him.

The Waterfall

He lies on the bed with his waist right at the edge, torso draping down the side, and she sits right on top.

You’re a fiery lady who refuses to be phony, even at the risk of coming off as impolite or aggressive. You appreciate authenticity in everything, projecting nothing but your true self to the outside world and settling for nothing less than true love. There’s a dominant spirit in you that can’t be tamed, and you need a man who gets that. Some men might find you too intimidating to date, but the ones you end up falling for are crazy attracted to your unshakable confidence.

The Pretzel

She lies on her left side, he straddles her left leg and holds her right leg up by his hip while thrusting.

Dating you is kind of complicated, but that’s more than okay to a certain unique subset of the male population that equates “normal” with “boring.” Maybe you have diarrhea of the mouth and you’re prone to fits of over-excitement but your significant other sees the beauty in your free spiritedness and originality. There’s really never a dull moment for the man who enters into a serious relationship (or even a fling) with someone like you.

The Ballet Dancer

You both stand and she wraps one leg up around his waist as he penetrates.

Every move you make is deliberate, both in life and love. You’ve had your shit together since you were a teenager and you bring that sense of responsibility to your relationship. Thanks to you, mostly, your coupledom is marked by an overriding sense of harmony. On the rare occasions that you fight with your significant other, your arguments tend to dissolve rather quickly, because you possess the rare ability to transform even the most stressful situations into opportunities for learning and growth. You are a master at keeping—and, when necessary, reestablishing—the peace.

Drop The Soap

She stands leaning against the counter top and he surprises her from behind and thrusts himself inside her.

Something about you screams “fun.” You’re prone to giggling fits and you’re an expert at transforming dull moments into memorable occasions with your sense of humor and your willingness to make a fool of yourself for the sake of entertaining others, especially those you love.


Man and woman make love lying down, facing each other.

Romance is your native tongue. You know how to win a man over just by looking him in the eyes, and you have a way of making the ordinary extremely special. So what if you have an affinity for the most basic sex position? You know in your gut that you are anything but basic.

The Butter Churner

She lies back and rolls over so that her butt is all the way up in the air and her toes are touching the floor behind her, flanking her head, and he sits on top.

Newness doesn’t terrify you at all. You’re devoted to experimenting in all areas of life—in the bedroom, and beyond. It’s this thirst for novelty that keeps you (and your relationship) alive, and that doesn’t go unnoticed by the man you love, who respects and appreciates the energy you put towards spicing things up constantly. TC mark

Real Sex Stories book cover
Read more writing like this in Mélanie Berliet’s book Real Sex Stories That Will Make You Really Horny here.

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