5 Things I Assumed I’d Have A Year After Graduating College
1. Fancy food in the fridge.
I used to think that around this stage, I’d be cooking for reals — dog-tagging pages in hard-cover recipe books, tossing fresh herbs around, owning a cheese grater, things like that. As it turns out, I do three things and three things only at my local Trader Joe’s: rob them of their frozen food supply, spend 20 minutes staring at their collection of artisan chocolates, and make enough stops at the sample section to eat a full-on free meal. I’ve seen adults shop, and it does not look like this.
2. Less free time.
As college came to a close, I started treasuring my student schedule like it was precious gold — I mean, no class on Fridays?? No responsibilities before noon??? Nights when I had nothing to do other than drink bad beer and casually glance at a book???? This must have been Lazydrunkgirl Heaven!!! Well, flash forward to a year later, when I have whole days where I don’t know what to do with myself. I’ve even started going to the gym. It wasn’t until I bought my first pair of running shoes that I realized how much I was longing for a sense of purpose.
3. Professional clothing.
Let’s put it this way: the only blazer I own cost me 12 dollars at Forever 21, and I still consider leggings pants.
4. A clearer sense of direction.
To put it bluntly, I kind of thought I’d have my life figured out by now. To continue putting it bluntly, I don’t. But hey, maybe that’s okay. I mean, if I’m gonna stick to this freelance writer/actress/cheese-eater thing I’ve got goin’ on, my life’s inevitably going to be a bit of a rollercoaster — not in the sense that it’ll have its ups and downs, but in the sense that I’ll be scared to near-death half the time and puking up chunks of glittery joy the other half. I hope to eventually master the art of being in both of these states at once — I imagine that’s what it feels like to be totally and completely fulfilled.
5. Less hangovers.
I drank an obscene amount my last semester of college because I was convinced “I’d never be able to live this way ever again.” After a year spent in the real world, my drinking habits have only changed in three identifiable ways: I get drunk earlier than I used to (thanks and no thanks Happy Hour), I actively avoid PBR because it makes my body feel like a fiery trash pit, and the establishments in which I drink are about 12 times smaller than they used to be. I am not what one would call a responsible, one-glass-of-wine-with-dinner kind of adult.
TC Reader Exclusive: The Patron Social Club gets you invited to cool private parties in your city. Join here.
A | A | A
You were a founding figure in the “adorkable” movement.
I always imagined as I grew old and desperate I would become less picky when it came to qualifications for men. Strangely enough, I’ve experienced the opposite. Consider the Erica of age 18.
I love the internet. It’s a wonderful place to discover new artists and talented writers and cats playing with yarn. But lately, it’s getting me a little down.
1. Wrapping Paper There is nothing, nothing, worse than running out of wrapping paper. In some cases, you have to resort to covering your family’s treasured retail items in newspaper. “Positively gauche, father,” your son will say.