God exists. These two words are one of the most debatable statements in the world. Questionable enough, to give rise to a whole new section of society called, ‘atheists’. I believe in God. Not because like most people I am God-fearing but God-loving. Just the thought that someone up there is always going to be around to pitch in when hell breaks loose gives my tender heart a little confidence to face problems with a greater zeal to get past it.
However sometimes, when life gets tough, questions like “Why me?” “Isn’t God going to do something?” so on and so forth come up. Those are the times your faith is questioned and it’s those moments when the atheist in you is just a little more powerful.
I sometimes wonder what I would ask the supreme power if I ever get to meet him. Like a naive little girl I get super excited with the thought of having ‘HIM’ answer all my question.
Maybe, I would ask him, why I didn’t get that job? He knew that I really studied for it. Why didn’t he clear the misunderstandings between me and my boyfriend? He knew we were right for each other. Why didn’t I get that promotion? He knew I was due. I would want to question him on his silence, why does he keep quiet when he sees things going wrong. Why does he wait for the last straw to break? Why can’t he make this world a nicer place to live in? I would want to flood him various questions that shakes people’s self-esteem.
However when I give this whole idea a thought, after the initial excitement of a 10 year old dies down, I begin to think more my age. Maybe I wouldn’t question him on anything at all. I wouldn’t ask him to guide me towards the right direction; I want to make my own mistakes and figure out the right direction. I won’t ask him to make sure I am always loved by people, loneliness is an emotion that I want to experience, and it will make me a little more independent. I will not ask him to make my life a bed of roses; it is the thorns that complete the rose.
Maybe I will just sit down in ‘HIS’ presence and space out into an oasis of serenity. I would feel every single moment because this one hour will be the closest I could get to what we humans imagine heaven to be. I will spend that hour in tranquility. I will spend that hour in reliving moments of my life – the good, bad and the ugly.
However this time I will experience them with ‘HIM’ along with a stronger version of myself. I will spend that hour in complete silence because that one hour of quietude will help me discover a new side of myself. A version closer to my heart! A version closer to my soul!