November 21, 2016

Boys Will Come And Go, But Your Friends Are With You For Life

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Unsplash, Abo Ngalonkulu
Unsplash, Abo Ngalonkulu

I cannot speak for anyone else. So I will speak only for myself. I do not like it when people differentiate between friendships and relationships. A friendship is a relationship. Much like any other bond, a friendship needs work. It has to stand the test of time, distance, and the range of human emotions. But the good friendships, especially between women, are golden.

Life is hard. Luck is not always on your side. People are not always nice to you. Circumstances sometimes really, really get to you. But you know what? Your girl friends make the ride easier. They are always on your side, even if they disagree with you.

They consider it their job to be by your side, no matter what type of mess you get yourself into. When people are being mean, they’re on the other side of the phone or the table, listening to you. It’s not like their lives are perfect. Heck, no one’s life is. That’s why it’s our job as women, as fierce female friends, to be there for each other.

I love my friends. I always have. There are a bunch of ridiculously strong women scattered across the world nourishing these wonderful relationships and chasing after these amazing careers. I have heard a lot of people claim that marriage changes things, that friendships take a backseat. But I think that is a matter of choice, much like anything else.

No, it isn’t easy — although we now have more people in our lives, we’re still only left with 24 hours in a day. But it is still a choice. I am in my mid-twenties and some of my friends are married. Some of them even have kids. One such friend is very dear to me. I’ve seen her act as a fun classmate, a helpful colleague, a loving wife, and a beautiful mother.

We don’t really know where we’re going. In fact, in our twenties, it seems like we will never know. At least that is how I feel. But I comfort myself by picturing my friends around me for life.

We’re forty, trying to juggle the challenges of life and telling each other about it. We’re fifty, trying to sort out issues we probably haven’t even thought of right now and telling each other about it. We’re seventy, grumbling about aches and pains and telling each other about it. As long as we’re fiercely there for each other, I think we’ll be okay.

My friends and I are not really similar. We’re writers, architects, doctors, and managers. We’re dog lovers, cat people, cookie eaters, foodies, readers, shoppers, and travelers. But my friends have helped me understand that people can be different. We can have our own identities. We don’t always have to agree with each other. What matters is that we support each other.

“Special” is not a special enough word for these women. One song is not enough of a dedication for them. All I can say is, if you have a crew like I do, a group of wonderful women who will fiercely protect you, fiercely love you, and fiercely be there for you despite your weirdness, hold onto them. Fight for them. As fiercely as you can. TC mark

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