We strive to be authentic, but then somehow still convince ourselves the wrong ones are the right ones. Then in this weird twist in logic, we are sad when things don’t work out. But in our heart of hearts, didn’t we know this wouldn’t work? It was a long shot at best.
Infatuation confused with love. Attention confused with respect. Flirtation confused with affection. Obsession confused with devotion. Drama confused with passion.
We are doing it all wrong. But we don’t stop. I think we love the thrill. We love the story.
Love stories make a nice date night movie, but the suspense thrillers make the big bucks. Coincidence? Nah, I think everyone likes a little drama, telling our friends the drama, feeding into the classic modern-day dating narrative.
So maybe that’s why things didn’t work out. Nothing ever phased me. I never got angry. I was never dramatic. That’s just not me. Did I care? Of course!
But you wanted drama. You tried to force it out of me, incapable of understanding someone can care deeply for you and not yell and throw fits.
Maybe I like drama too. I knew this wasn’t right. I mean when our souls met in the middle of the room there was a handshake. My soul wasn’t moved to dance.
So I guess we both lied to ourselves. We hung out for a while. It was fun. I told my friends. They got excited. Deep down I knew you weren’t the one. But I got excited too. Convinced myself the one right now is the right one. Because you have to. If not, why waste the time? But we both knew that wasn’t true.
It was nice while it lasted. When it ended. I mourned the relationship, the norm. But I got over it. People think I’m weird. They think it’s inauthentic. How can I get over this person so quickly?
I don’t know. I think it’s because deep down inside my soul didn’t dance. It wasn’t a spiritual connection. I mourned the end of another failed relationship, but I knew I hadn’t lost my soul mate.
Once I realized this, I had this renewed excitement. I knew I didn’t have to settle for this relationship. That maybe there still is someone out there that will make my soul dance!
I pray that for you too. When you get married I hope to be invited. I probably won’t be. But I just want to see your first dance and see you look into your wife’s eyes the way you never looked into mine.
That’s my favorite part of weddings, the first dance. It’s the truest physical manifestation of two souls dancing. It’s beautiful. It’s magic.
Cheers to us both finding that magic.