10 Signs She’s Totally Into You
Resident Love Guru Derek Marshall published an article yesterday called “6 Signs He’s Completely Fallen For You.” I’m going to hit it from the female perspective with signs that your lady friend might be a bit head over heels.
Granted, unlike Mr. Marshall, I tend to fall in front of people more often than I do for them, so take this perspective for what it’s worth.
1. When meeting her friends for the first time, you get the vague feeling that they already know you. Well, not in the literal sense, but you can bet your last High Life that she has already briefed her friends on everything that is necessary to know about you. And at least 8/10 of them have skimmed your Facebook profile.
2. In social gatherings, some of her friends stare at you with steely-eyed resentment because she will not shut up about you when hanging out with them. Frankly, they’re sick of hearing about how you also like her favorite band or told a hilarious joke about Justin Bieber (it really wasn’t that funny).
3. You had no idea she even followed the NBA, but all of a sudden, she seems to have memorized every relevant nugget of knowledge or statistic about the Denver Nuggets…which happens to be your favorite team (God knows why).
4. She is trying really, really hard to ingratiate herself with your friends. This means that she is trying to become more acquainted with them so that she can casually drop questions about your current relationship status. The easiest way to a dude’s heart, after all, is through his friends. And Chipotle.
5. She squeals a little too loudly when she discovers your shared interests. When she found that copy of The Shining in your room? She almost peed her pants. Because that’s, like, her favorite film, and y’all are definitely #soulmates.
6. While talking to her, you notice that she has a habit of grinning at random moments during the conversation. Even when you’re discussing relatively mundane subjects — like the number of hours you spent on your Corporate Finance homework last night or the amount of mileage on your 2003 Toyota Camry.
7. She actually talks to you — this is according to a group of male students I polled, who were studying physical chemistry (pchem, for those on the pre-med or science tracks) in the library on a Thursday evening. They granted me permission to share this monumental tip.
8. Her stream-of-conscious slips are so blatant that Freud himself could rise from his grave and dance a jig atop his tombstone. For example, she might accidentally say, “Yeah, I’m totally into you” when she meant to say, “Yeah, I’m totally into that” in reference to a group project you two are working on. Oopsie.
9. She jumps onto any opportunity to do small favors for you — like, for example, bringing you tea when you’re sick or helping you study for an exam that you forgot was the next day. There may or may not be ulterior motives behind this friendly helpfulness, but how much does that matter to you?
10. She compliments unexpected aspects of your appearance. It would be so #obvious if she were to say something like, “Wow, your lips look particularly plump today” or “you have such beautiful eyes” (learn from my mistakes, y’all)…but you know she’s smitten when she compliments, say, your hair or your exceptional earlobes, bro. It means she notices.
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3. Really good Groupon deals.
1. They treat a waitress poorly.
How many resumes have we submitted, never to hear a reply? How many slices of dollar pizza have we barely been able to afford this week?
“WE WERE ON A BREAK!”