Someone Please Surprise Me
Someone please surprise me, some days I feel like I’ve seen it all and I know that’s not true; maybe I’ve seen it ‘a’ or ‘l’ or even ‘ll’ — and that’s generous — but certainly there’s more than that. I’m exhausted by the act of waking up and knowing exactly what to expect and from whom; I’m tired of water with lemon and lemonade and Arnold Palmers, can’t we invent something new? I’m bored with folding my sheets in this square, particular manner; I’m tired of the proper way to load dishes in the washer and tired of sleeping in my own bed; someone please surprise me. I want every name in my cell phone to change, just so I can pretend I don’t know who and what is reaching out; I want to be called by a thing I don’t know yet. I want to see someone new and not know how to describe it, I want to be left speechless so I don’t have to explain. I want to feel something that’s foreign to the touch, even if it hurts, I guess. I want to look in the mirror and see something else; I want a shocking reflection. I’m tired of knowing what every type of weather is like, I wish there were different ways to talk about the sky like bulbous or friction or indecisive, I don’t know. Maybe I should switch the drawer that holds my pants with the drawer that holds my shirts, maybe that will temporarily throw me off guard. I need something to make me think again, even if it’s only for a second, I want to be thrown off. I want someone whose eyes are a new shade of blue, is that possible? I want someone I already know to prove that people can change, will change, are changing. Please change me. I want to surprise myself.
A | A | A
5. Ditch your old bad habits and reinvent your self this holiday season-try identify theft!
I recently finished reading Mindy Kaling’s book Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? She’s an all-around comedic badass so if you haven’t read it yet I suggest buying it or borrowing it from your coolest female (or male?) companion.
I’m an avid believer that being in unfamiliar circumstances and doing things that seem scary can really develop character. I’ve never learned more about myself than times I’ve felt utterly unprepared.
This portable press that doubles as a thermos will have even the fiercest coffee snobs saying “YASSSSSSS.”