If “Words With Friends” Got Specific
Words with your college roommate’s ex-boyfriend
Words with the girl you met in AOL chat circa 1999
Words with the person you lost your virginity to
Words with some guy you think you know from your first job, you’re not really sure who he is, actually
Words with the girl who moved to another state while you were in high school, but continues to find ways to remain relevant over a decade later
Words with the kid you had a crush on in elementary school
Words with some girl you borrowed a dress from one time, you never returned that dress, hope she doesn’t remember that
Words with your high school gym teacher
Words with that guy who took you on one date and never called you again but finds nothing odd about initiating a round of poor man’s Scrabble with you
Words with someone who, at one point, was a viable business contact but is now woefully unimpressed by your limited vocabulary
Words with a hot acquaintance who you would like to have more than words with
Words with the guy who used to drive you around and buy you liquor when you were underage
Words with the first person who happened to be in the vicinity hours after you downloaded Words with Friends
Words with the elusive ‘Player 2.’ WHO ARE YOU?
Answer phones better than anyone else has answered phones before. Relay messages so brilliant, they bring people to tears. Turn the coffee run into the choreography of Swan Lake. Become best friends with every intern and every underling and every taxi driver you encounter.
By Ella Ceron
I remember taking the pen and notebook from that woman outside the courtroom, flipping to a clean page in the book, and writing, JESSICA IS SAD in big, bold, uncoordinated letters. “My sister is going to be a good writer someday! Look at how nice her lines are!”
To begin, I got totally screwed over in the dental genes department. I was born with a pretty severe overbite and a mouth that was too small.
If this doesn’t become the biggest video on the Internet, then I have no faith left in humanity.
By Rob Fee