W is for Worried
Please don’t wake up. I’m just trying to find my pants and my cell phone, both of which should be easily discernible. Clean your room sometime, asshole.
A is for Acknowledged
“Ohhh… hey babe! Good morning! Yep, gotta go. I have (cough) yoga, at the park. (Cough)… every Saturday it’s my thing? Anyway! Thanks for… all of it. Everything. You’re a great host okay bye!”
L is for Lies
Heh. Yoga. That’s rich.
K is for …Kall Me?
Kall me with a K? What did I drink last night?
O is for Out Of Here
It’s a beautiful day for a Walk Of Shame! Just need to find my point of reference. I live for disorienting moments like these.
F is for Fuck
Fuck do I need coffee, a cigarette, an order of Steak and Eggs, and a Bloody Mary. Preferably all together in a blender as to alleviate any effort on my behalf.
S is for Sunglasses
For when Visine and three hours of sleep just won’t cut it. Sunglasses, you complete me. How would I mask the wistful glint in my eye without you?
H is for Hangover
I can see my future flashing before my eyes, and it involves Mexican food and a Law & Order: SVU marathon.
A is for Ashamed
I shouldn’t have done that, probably. I’m going to regret this all day… the remorse could very well haunt me into next week.
M is for Mobile Phone
“Hey. You awake? I’m on the way home. UGHH. No, it was okay. I couldn’t find my headband, so that fucking blows. Made it out of there with my favorite bra and a broken dry spell so I suppose I shouldn’t complain. What time does McNeely’s open? Think I left my scruples in the washroom.”
E is for Espresso
Americano on ice with two sugars and a side of your sympathy, please. To go.